Fearing low voter turnout on this third round of elections, non-profit organization The Israeli Alliance has released a humorous video designed to encourage younger voters to set aside apathy and show up on election day. The video’s linguistic conceit is that the Hebrew word “shilshul” is the same for both “dropping [a ballot into the ballot box]” or “having diarrhoea”. This less-than-sophisticated play on words works in Hebrew but doesn’t work at all in English. The translation that follows is the best your humble translator could do.
DOCTOR: Oh, I didn’t notice you were here. Nice to meet you. My name is Dr. Mulholland Drive and I’m here to talk to you about most burning issue in Israel that isn’t being talked about enough.
BIRD: Plopping! Plop! Plopping!
DOCTOR: That’s right, Ploppy! This is indeed a worrisome undiscussed phenomenon, that’s becoming more and more widespread. One out of every three Israelis does not plop enough.
DOCTOR V.O.: It could be that douchey guy who starts up with you…
GUY: Want to come over and listen to YouTube?
GIRL: The truth is, I’ve got to plop.
DOCTOR V.O.: It could be any one of your friends…
FRIEND 1: So, you’re coming over to watch the game, right?
FRIEND 2: No way, bro, I’ve got to plop.
FRIEND 3: What? You still plop?
FRIEND 1: Why, who doesn’t plop?
FRIEND 3: Enough already! How many times can we plop? Bro, I prefer to hold it in.
FRIEND 2: Bro, holding it in is the worst thing to do. You’ve got to plop – again and again! I’ll be plopping for the third time in a row!
FRIEND 1: How can you look your parents in the eye and tell them you don’t plop, hey?
FRIEND 3: How much can we plop?
BARTENDER: We’re closing the kitchen. Do you need anything?
FRIENDS: Yes! Got to plop!
DOCTOR V.O.: It could even be you.
COMMANDER: You plopping to me?! You plopping to me?!
DOCTOR: Now is the time to stop being lazy…
INTERVIEWER: Tell me bro, are you plopping this year? Does the gentleman plop?
MAN ON THE STREET: What?
INTERVIEWER: Is it important for you to plop this year?
DOCTOR (holds up ballot envelope): … and start plopping!
INTERVIEWER (with ballot box): At the polling station! At the polling station! Ha ha ha ha!
DOCTOR: This is the reason why everyone must plop! If every one of us brings three friends to plop we can clear the blockage that’s got our country stuck… and make a giant plop!
MUSIC: “I plop / You plop”
DOCTOR: On March 2nd, Israel will plop. Three times and that’s it!
DOCTOR: Oh, Ploppy, what brown eggs [also testicles] you have!