The Israeli public has unpacked its arsenal of puns to respond to Hamas claims that the terror group recently apprehended a “Mossad spy dolphin.” The talkback community on Israeli online news sites is always verbose but the latest fishy charge against one of Earth’s most intelligent animals has unleashed a barrage of witty jokes and serious reservations.
According to a report by the Al Quds newspaper, Hamas is claiming to have arrested an Israeli spy off the shore of the Gaza Strip – citing the “Mossad agent in question” to be a dolphin outfitted with cameras. Further claims included that the mammal was equipped with an underwater remote-controlled device capable of shooting small arrows.
This is hardly the first time zoological conspiracy theories have arisen against Israel’s intelligence agency. Other charges include the 2007 Iranian arrests of squirrels supposedly carrying spy gear along their border; the 2010 shark attacks in Egypt, for which Egyptian authorities blamed the Mossad for plotting to harm local tourism; and the 2011 incident in which Saudi Arabian security services accused Jerusalem of sending a vulture to gather information for spying purposes, among others.
While dolphins have been used militarily by other countries in the past, Israel only uses Dolphin class submarines in its Navy.
“Oh yes, I knew him in the elite naval commando unit,” one talkbacker writes. “He was a manly-man, every fin in the right place.”
“The dolphin is a friend of the shark from Egypt,” writes a joker.
Another commenter posted a new definition for the term BDS: “BDS = Boycott Dolphin Spies!”
“The dolphin says in a statement: They framed me,” a pundit writes on Ynet. “Don’t worry, he has a shark attorney,” another responds.
The talkback arena was also filled with fears for the dolphin’s life.
“I just hope they didn’t kill him,” writes a talkbacker.
“So sad, now they’re going to kill him,” another adds.
Meanwhile, the Iranian Fars news agency is reporting that what Hamas actually caught was an Israeli-made dolphin robot equipped with espionage equipment.